We had our legs knocked out from under us last weekend. When I say us, I mean a group of people who’ve known each other for decades. A group of people who thought they were immune to stuff that other people had to deal with.
A member of this group confessed to infidelity. That’s the neutral, calm word. Adultery is the ugly-sounding word that not many people use nowadays. Affair is the beautiful-sounding, derived-from-French, cover-up-reality word that is more acceptable in this my-truth-isn’t-your-truth world we live in today. We say, he/she had an affair when we talk about someone who cheats on a spouse. An affair.
I love the British word gobsmacked for astonished, utterly astounded. Yep. That about sums up how our group feels, along with hurt and anger and disappointment and downright sorrow.
At this point in our lives, I thought we’d all kind of made it. We survived the chaotic, crazy, loud, busy, crazy, wonderful, difficult, fun, crazy years of rearing our children. In our group, all the children have become positive, contributing members of society. Praise God!
Now it feels like the gravy time. We get to do things without having to teach a lesson. We can eat ice cream for dinner if we want to without worrying that we’re leading some little one down a path of life-long poor nutrition. We have decades of inside jokes and stories. Our lives aren’t dictated by high school sports events or concerts or programs.
We can pretty much do what we want and have the money to do it within reason.
It’s like dating again but better.
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “Hope, for Heaven’s sake. Roll back the drama a bit, please. It didn’t happen to you.” But, oh, my friend. You are wrong. This adultery chapter affects his wife and children the most, is completely devastating to them, will more than likely change their lives forever, but this horrible adultery chapter has collateral damage to a host of other people. I can think of six couples without even trying hard.
This friend has surrendered to lies, spread lies, and become a cliché. I can’t believe it still.
So to answer the question in the title, please call it what it is: adultery. There is nothing beautiful about destroying a family.
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